Come over here. Smell this. Skunks. Skunks must have shat in my bottle of Peroni. This stuff must come from the same school as Grolsch. The only academy I know of that encourages its pupils to smell like a garbage dump. That said Peroni isn't actually that bad. In a lot of ways I liked it but felt like I'd had this before in a different bottle, with a different label... It's been done before. Better.

Mike's Rating:

Read the full story

Do you remember that night? Maybe it was the only night you'd ever let yourself have with her. Maybe it was the only night you ever could have had with her. You remember the bricks on the wall. The people around you rolling their eyes with mock jealously. The only thing they're jealous of that its you and not them. And when she begged you to go home with her the smile you and told her no.

Well that's this beer. Its a good feeling even if you pee hurts in the middle of the night. Red Tail. All the things you wished you'd done in a bottle.

Mike's Rating:
Read the full story

You ever gotten up to pee and when you got back your beer tasted suspiciously like cigarette ashes? But you're not one to throw out a beer, especially one that cost you more than half of what your hourly wage is. So you drink it. You drink it trying your damnedest to keep you eyes off her tits all the while feigning interest in whatever she's rambling about. Well, I've got news for you if were drinking Kingfisher. It was probably just that patented stale taste of Kingfisher Premium Lager. Drink up. It tastes like yesterday.

Mike's Rating:
Read the full story

Why does every beer taste like this? It seems a waste to pay more for an import that tastes like a whole line of domestics.

Once when I was in Seattle I stuck my neck out and went to an Indian dinner with my girl at the time. The one thing that made me stomach what I had just eaten was the lone bottle of Elephant. Vegetables. Curry. Coriander. Elephant was the switch to my inner garbage disposal. For that I am thankful.

The beer on its own is a blur in the millions of others. Surprisingly enough its a Malt Liquor but you'd never have noticed it until I told you.

Mikes Rating:
Read the full story

One bag of Cheetos too many. Thats what ruined this beer and it was no fault of its own. That was on me.

There is a bar in Austin called the Drafthouse. Its a old style pub with tons on tap. All the tables are thick wood that over the years have seen their fair amount of abuse from Thursday night college crowds and five o' clock thirty somethings alike. Some of my favorite memories of Austin came from that place. The first time Jason and I hung out we met up there. I schooled Amber in darts. Mike schooled me. I celebrated the Vandals win their this year. When it came time for Wade to leave thats where we saw him off. And if it hadn't been for that bar Amy and I wouldn't have found our apartment. And on top of all that the bar tenders are constantly comping me free pints.

Thats what this beer tastes like. It doesn't matter that it comes from Oregon. It tastes like the Drafthouse. All of it. Even the lock on the bathroom that doesn't do the one thing its supposed to. Lock.

Mike rating:
Read the full story